I Don't Know How to Talk to Them

Starting conversations about technology and mental health doesn't have to be awkward. Here are approaches that actually work.

Three golden rules

Ask questions because you genuinely want to understand, not because you're trying to catch them out. Children can tell the difference.

The best conversations happen during car journeys, walks, or cooking together. Less eye contact = less pressure.

“I don't really understand this, but I want to. Can you show me?” This gives your child a sense of purpose and expertise.

"What's the funniest thing you've seen online this week?"

"Is there anything online that's been bothering you lately?"

"What do your friends mostly use their phones for?"

"If you could change one thing about social media, what would it be?"

"How are you really doing? Not just 'fine' — really."

"I've noticed you seem a bit different lately. No pressure, but I'm here."

"What's been the hardest part of your week?"

"Is there anything you wish I understood better?"

"Do you use any AI tools? Can you show me how they work?"

"What do you think about AI — is it helpful or a bit weird?"

"I read something about AI chatbots. What do you think about that?"

"You're always on that phone."

"I miss spending time with you. Can we do something together?"

"What are you hiding?"

"I'm not trying to spy — I just want to understand your world."

"When I was your age..."

"I know things are different now. Help me understand."

"You shouldn't feel that way."

"That sounds really hard. Tell me more."

If your child has become secretive or communication has broken down, focus on rebuilding connection first: